Random thoughts late at night

So I have all these ideas going on in my head... well not just ideas but a lot of... things.


I can't seem to put everything down on paper. I can't even seem to think of how to put these things down on paper. There's just so much going on right now.


I think I just have so much going on right now that I want to fix and do everything... but in reality I'm not doing anything... because I'm just too damn busy thinking about all the stuff I want to.


I'll be honest with you all. I'm scared. I am scared of what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. I'm scared about what tomorrow holds. I am scared if this clothing line will launch well. I'm scared that I'll even be able to support myself in the future. I am one lazy ass guy but how do I keep motivation within myself to drive and do better? I have to do something I love. I have to. Why should you do anything but something you love?


Life doesn't require you to actually HAVE to do anything. Everything is a choice. Wrong or right. Good or bad. Things will have outcomes and in the end, you just have to ask yourself if it is worth it.


I feel like every time I write a damn blog post, I am just repeating myself from years ago but just with better spelling and nicer vocabulary words even though my vocabulary is very limited.


I really just want to organize my toy collection. I really just want my car to look clean and be complete again. I really just want to be done with school. I really just want my girlfriend to spend more time with me.


I feel like through out my life I haven't achieved anything significant yet. I've made a ton of friends, enemies, and etc. But I have met only a few people that I can say I love and would do anything in the world for. But you see... that's not the problem. The problem is... how many people in the world would do that for me?


I feel so insignificant. I want to know I have friends that are there for me no matter what. It is like that quote how friends make time for you but people that love you don't bother looking at time and just come. Or something like that. I basically want to be able to trust some people with my life if need be.


Maybe I'm reading into my life a bit too much. I just want a c-one lip on my celica.